so new year’s eve was two days ago. well, that was definitely something.
our house turned into some kind of holiday home and my cousins’ entire family who came over for the christmas holidays ended up staying with us till yesterday. it was a mess of old people and a lot of noisy adults and a kid cousin who used a million printer papers to make a katana or something. oh, and one sane cousin (let’s call her G) who’s my age and made all of it worth the while, i guess.
okay, i lied. she’s insane.
new year to our family isn’t actually a big deal. maybe it’s because the traditional indian new year was ages ago. but for me, it was a big deal. the year had been a whirlwind. and the beginning 2020 was something special to me. something symbolic, i guess, some sort of relief.
we didn’t feast on new year’s eve, we ate the spicy ramen that we got from the grocery store. the dancing only lasted till 10:30 pm, and then the lights were out. me and my cousin were exhausted but also pretty determined to make it till 12, so G and i stayed up watching movies in the dark.
and when it was almost midnight we pulled ourselves out of the tangle of sheets and pillows and hurried out, and when the fireworks started we played the song uchiagehanabi (from the movie fireworks) as loud as we could.
12:00 pm was cold air and our bodies tangled together and music and squealing every time a firework lit up the sky. and then there were the lanterns. we never found out who sent them up, and we watched them until they were little red dots in the sky.
new year’s eve wasn’t a grand party, but it was the best i could ask for. standing outside, with the cold wind biting at my skin with my best friend who happens to be my cousin sidled up against me, the snores of my amazing family who i couldn’t ask more of, and the fireworks exploding into a million little sparks, i felt so blessed. i felt the happiest i had ever felt in the entire year.
and just like that, 2019 was over.
it was loud, and messy, but it was beautiful. 2019 was hard, painful and weird and blurry and I’m never going to get it back. 2019 was a firework; it came, it lit up and exploded with light and colour, and then it slowly faded away.