To All the ‘Me’s I’ve Been Before

The ‘me’s I have been were all not so hard to handle, except that since they didn’t come with a manual, no one tried to understand how to. Perhaps I still am a strange creature to some. A mystery whose answer lies right at their fingertips.

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I have owned and nurtured a vast variety of ‘me’s under the same skin I wear today. The ones which were vibrant and brimming with life. The ones with empty eyes. The ones whose hearts sang, the ones who wanted to touch the sky, and the ones who lumbered in the shadows. All my pasts, and all pieces of my present.

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To all the ‘me’s I’ve been before, I love you. All those bruises you gave me, I tried to wear them the way the other girls wear makeup. I squirm at the stupid things you did, the terrible things you said, and I laugh at how the ugliness of your persons make you all the more beautiful. And I mourn at the fact that I can never go back, I can’t sail away into the easier world you lived in.

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I dream of the lives of the ‘me’s I left behind, and I recoil at the same thought sometimes. To all the ‘me’s I was before, I don’t love you all the time, through all things, but I would never trade anything for the messy past you wrote for me. So many things about you I still don’t understand.

Maybe I went and stupidly rummaged through your personalities to find my own, and it was just scarier than I expected to find myself unlike all of you. But when I brush my fingers against yours, I realise that so much of what I am is what I have been.

Our Ironic World

You know, just the other day, I was thinking about how wrong everything is. Society is messed up, the world is an avenue of hate, the people are egoistic and vain and crude, and everything is so endlessly and unconditionally wrong.

But as it turns out, our world is an ironic place. Evil comes with good, lies come with truth, and wrong comes with right. That’s just the way things are.

Since the beginning of our kind we have done so much. We have organised ourselves, set up our own worlds, we have recognised beauty and created it. We’ve come here and done things.

Even the simplest things you see around you are society’s doing. The world is as much our creation as it is nature’s. You reading this, and me writing it; there is always someone to thank for the most casual things.

So I feel that sometimes, even though it is most definitely messed up, society needs to be reminded less of what it’s done wrong, and more of what it’s done right.

The Change Award, The Month, and The Hiatus

When I first began to get tagged for awards and such, I used to be super ecstatic. That’s when laziness took over. It’s been the ruling party for so long, but now, the opposition (me, basically) decided to make a move.

Today I’m going to be doing The Change Award, a really neat tag by my good friend Gracie, in celebration of her well-deserved 500 followers! *confetti*

So this time, I’m going to be taking a different angle. Since these questions are rather thought-provoking and I like making things unique, I decided to write my answers in verse. 😀

The Rules: 

  • Link back to me, as well as whoever nominated you (check)
  • Include this: I, Gracie Chick of A Light In The Darkness, created this award to highlight the importance of young people taking responsibility for the future of their world. The Change Award also gives them the opportunity to share with others what they believe in. (okay, I suppose that does it)
  • Answer the questions below (I’ll get to that)
  • Nominate as many people as you like. (that’ll be at the end)

Okay, guys, let’s plunge right in!

Make a list of the things you want to change about schools.

May learning not imprison us
But rather set us free
May grades not be stamped on us
Like they’re our identity.
May we be taught that what we’re learning
Is really for the good
And the reason to seek knowledge
Is not simply because ‘we should’.

Make a list of the things you want to change about local communities.

May kindness be a weapon
Over society’s constant hate
May people learn to respect opinions
And learn to coordinate
May hearts welcome each other
And love, not lies, be exchanged
And when we look back later
May we beam upon the change.

Make a list of the things you want to change about the world, your world.

I want to seize every joy
And fill it into cartons
And take it to my inner world
And finally care for its gardens
Then I want to pluck their flowers
Before they wither and fall down
And proudly place them atop my head
Like a flower crown.


Now that that’s done, here are my nominees (I have tried not to include the ones already nominated, so there)-

Madi
Arunima
Michele
Rutvi
Rae
Rebekah
Lissa
Clara

I’m sorry if I missed you! If you want to do this, there’s nothing stopping you. 😉


Highlights from January

I GOT SO MANY DESIGN ORDERS I ALMOST DROWNED IN THEM

My average bedtime is now 11 pm. I suppose that’s enough said. -_-
So far I’ve had 20+ clients, all in a matter of three months from starting Design Pique Studios, my free web design service! Okay, it’s getting hectic, but sometimes I have to admit that hectic is fun. Plus, it’s one of the main reasons I haven’t been around in a while.

Right now, the site’s on hiatus because it’s getting too much for me to do at once, plus I’ve got waaaay too many exams coming up next month. But some new updates to the site since I first created it is a video which you can see on the home screen, plus a Portfolio page for all my projects.

I STARTED ATTENDING ALICIA SOUZA’S DESIGN MENTORSHIP PROGRAM

Okay, you have NO IDEA how excited I was about this. A couple months back I entered a mentorship program, and I was all over the place when I found out that I got selected and- maybe you should check out my post on Design Pique in which I talk all about it and drive you mad. That’ll be much easier.

I READ FIVE BOOKS (working on it), AND BOUGHT THREE PHYSICAL ONES

Haha, five books is nothing for some of you, I know. BUT with my crazy life and orders and assignments from my program alongside, that’s saying something.

Also, we bought three books. OH, COME ON. We never buy physical books. My dad always insists on ebooks because they don’t take up too much space. If you want to know what made him change his mind this one time, it’ll be quite a bit of a story.

We were on vacation to Bombay, and then somehow we figured that there was a certain “book street” in Colaba (read more about that here). I had no idea what that meant. Being a curious family, we decided to check it out.

If you’re a book lover, this is one of the reasons you have to visit India.

It was- you guessed it- a complete street lined with tons and tons of books. Secondhand books. For about half the usual price.

Naturally, I went cuckoo, and so did my dad.

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MY ART RATE WENT DOWN AND THEN… IT CAME UP

I hardly did any art in January. And, well, this probably doesn’t count as a January highlight, but today I took part in a painting competition in our locality. It was conducted by the husband of a late artist, which made me feel nice about taking part.

There was no theme, and I had no time to think something good up, and what I ended up with was… this. Excuse that it looks sort of dark.

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Another little detail is there were three age groups and one winner was to be chosen from each, and my painting won in my category. 😀

I’m not going to talk too much about what my prize was, because I don’t like talking about things like that. But I would like to mention that it included a paintbrush which that late artist used to use, and I will treasure it forever. ❤


The Hiatus

Yep, the worst part.

Orders are too much for my puny being to handle. Plus exams. And then there’s life. This site’s going to be taking a bit of a rest for a few months, but hey, a few months! I’ll be right back in late March. I may sneak in that occasional post, with updates or something like that, and I will be reading and commenting on your posts, but no consistency.

We all need a break once in a while, hm? 😉


Thanks to all of you for reading! See you here again in March, and I hope you have a lovely day!

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What the Sea Tells Me

On our recent vacation, which was the main reason for my absence throughout December, we visited the sea twice. Once it was for a ferry ride and once it was to visit the beach. And while we were there, I remember my mom randomly asking me a question- what do we learn from the sea?

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And this question isn’t just any old question. Think about it, what do we learn from the sea? Logically speaking, there can be many philosophical angles to this question. For instance, my mother said that the sea tells teaches her to break through her boundaries and to reach beyond the limit the world has set, the way the sea crashes against the shore, seeking to leave it behind.

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When I mused over it for a while, a poem I had previously written popped into my mind. I said that the sea showed me how there are both rises and falls in life, both ups and downs, but they are both parts of the ocean of our lives. The disruptions and joys that we experience from time to time, when seen from a broader perspective, are only parts of it, and they are what makes it whole.

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And so I followed my train of thought here, and I am eager to know where it will lead you. So here’s something you can do when you have nothing else on your hands- think about it, and tell me, what does the sea tell you?

 

Yes, I’m Somehow Getting Into a Bad Habit of Not Posting// A Little About My NaNo Novel

Guess who’s back? Here’s a hint- it’s meeee!

I don’t think you want to know what’s been up with me this December. I did only one other post and then went on another of my uninformed breaks and now it’s almost new year day. Well, I’ve been lazy and travelling and also reading quite a bit, so let’s just say I have all rights to be excused.

I had quite some time debating whether or not I should do this, but… let’s just say I’m going to grit my teeth and get over with it, okay?

TODAY, YOU WILL FIND OUT WHAT MY CURRENT WIP IS ABOUT.

And no, I’m not doing it this late because my novel is so epic that I want to be dramatic about it, it’s just that I was afraid everything would go wrong and my idea would be a total flop to the world.

I guess I’ll leave it for you to decide.

Without further ado, I present…

 

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temporary cover that took ages to make

 

The easiest way to tell you what this is about would be in a form of a questionnaire or something, right? And since it’s obviously REALLY late and everyone feels November was ages ago, you may not actually have bothered to think of these questions yourself. SO, as a special surprise, I’m asking them to myself!! I know I’m a genius.

Here goes nothing…

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This is a story of, among other things, courage of a different kind. It highlights the need for mental bravery, readiness to make shocking choices for the sake of not the greater good but for yourself. It is about deciding what you want to live- and die- for, when you know that the world cannot be changed in the time you have.

It as about war, and division, and relations, about learning to handle the unexpected turns life takes. It is about the simple joys of living, and most importantly, about discovering the true meaning of peace.

Synopsis

“Some things in life change people. Like war, I suppose.”

Eighteen-year-old Kestrel Mark’s carefree life along the borders of the proud country of Lieto begins to fade as rumors of war with its neighbor, Iskra, start spreading through the village. When consequences lead her to the capital of Rivercrest, her life intervenes with that of Bailey Harper, a friend she never intended to make. Together they take an insufferable decision, one which can rouse hope between the nations… or turn Kestrel into someone she never wanted to become.

A story of humanity, choices and war- both internal and external.

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Well, the confusing part is that most of my characters are girls, and I have no idea how I should be feeling about that. I mean, I personally don’t like too much of a gender in a book.

The point is, this story is brimming with females. The main character, whose POV the book is in, is Kestrel Mark (Mark is an acronym which you will never be able to decode *sniggers*). And then there are the other MCs, Bailey and Jasmine (who’s named after a stuffed toy… but that’s another story).

There are backstories behind how the three of them met. Jas is like Kestrel’s childhood friend and Bailey is someone she meets while training for war. And then there are Ketrel’s siblings. There’s the sister, Avery,  and the brother, Warner. And Sierra Blake, the trainer. And the old bookstore owner Mr Vellichor. Yeah, I had inspiration for the name.

There’s the president, Azalea Wolf, and the other president who doesn’t matter. There’s a certain Dave Unknown-Last-Name, a Mr McCartney and his weirdo son Sven. And there is Sven’s son, Riley. And there’s this guy who Mark nicknames Blondie and his kids Abriel and Conner. And there are other little characters who I have never named.

They’ve all got bits of me in them, they are blends of my own personality, a patchwork of things that are me and not me at the same time. But that’s for another day.

Here’s an aesthetic, just because I’m feeling good today-

 

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photo credit to the internet

 

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Image result for dont know gif

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This is the best part! I love being able to ignore all the cringy bits and focus on what I love about this story for a change. They aren’t even that many, but that’s okay, I guess.

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>introducing mccartney<
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>priceless reaction<
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>dreaming of somewhere<
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>bedhead<
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>dinner blues<

Before I end, I want to thank each and every single one of you awesome people for sticking with me through my absence- thank you SO MUCH, guys! I hope to see you again soon, assuming that I manage to pull off the next post I have planned.

P.S: Be sure to visit TWW’s InkCraft Cover poll! Voting ends on January 10th 2018.

So over to you now… what do you think? *fingers crossed*

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